博士候選人

親愛なる君へ :

今天是博士檢定考的最後一天 ; 中午12點考完，我在Technology Hall 旁的空中，看看這個校園！我還是頭一次，從這個角度去看ISU的校園，也是頭一次，以一個准博士候選人的身份去看看這個待了三年的地方！

我的腦子很清醒、身體很疲憊、心裡很空蕩！前幾分鐘寫的文章，還在腦子底打轉。累累的，但有放鬆的感覺，心底卻是不勝空虛！離我的目標越接近，我越是懷疑：在我身邊現在的一切一切，究竟值不值得我努力，值不值得我拼了命地去要！？

前天，和由樹去了一趟Chicago!他終於買下他心中想要的車，耗資不斐，但是樁好買賣：車況、里程樹、年份都好！回來的路上我想起心中的一個疑問：什麼時候該「堅持」？什麼時候該「妥協」？

「堅持」，很可能頭破血流，也很可能功成名就，但就一往無前的精神，對得起自己-男子漢當如是，無怨無悔！「妥協」，可以明哲保身、可以相容於順逆，但卻不一定合心意，不一定能獲得隨危機而來的成長機會！古人說：「厚積而薄發」、「不是不張，乃待其勢而蓄其力也」！

我一直以來都很保守，以為這樣，便能等待時機，化逆為順，轉危為安！久了，好像覺得自己青壯之年，空有氣力，心氣卻是垂垂老矣，不敢放手一搏！由樹給了我一課：雖然他的堅持，需要耗費很多的成本，但是和日後所能爆發的潜力及作為比較起來，這點投資便是九牛一毛，也可說是一本萬利！（當然啦，要有著極大的風險！）我的妥協在短期看來，也許穩當而不失大，卻無豪氣干雲的大度及灑脫！想要有朝一日龍升宏圖大志，那我現在這點心胸氣量，就得好好改一改！再說了，就是一敗塗地，我光溜溜地來到這世上，再光溜溜地走，也沒什麼好損失的！

是時候了，我蓄積的力量漸漸有了！只是，我也得看準了：天時、地利、人和！

Fancy Static Removal & Suntory Whisky

Terre Haute is located in the mid-west of the United States. The air is usually very dry, especially in winter. Therefore, people get static very often when they open car doors or even touch anything. Sometimes, a slight finger touch with each other also gives us a shock and it hurts. Well, I seldom have this situation in Taiwan since the weather there is usually very humid.

This Saturday, Yoshiki came back from Japan and brought me two gifts! One was a fancy static removal; the other was Suntory whisky. I like the static removal very much because it looks very fancy to me and I may not get one anywhere in Taiwan... not even in the US. I wonder why I couldn't find this kind of things in the US. It could be very dangerous if the static electric happened when I want to pump the gas. What the heck! But anyway, from now on, I don't have to be afraid of the static shock whenever I open my car door or pump the gas.

(Connie may not be able to "remind" me of her love to me any more.) Hahahaha…

The static removal has a funny word on it: FATE! Well, is it my "FATE" not to get shock again because of this cute little sucker!? Or…if I get shock again, it may be my "FATE" to suffer even with the help of this static removal!!!

I swear…I really decide to control the amount of alcohol I can have. I was not expecting to get whisky from Yoshiki as a gift! I am not saying that I don't like the whisky or something. But, does my face reflect the word "ALCOHOL" to everyone? Well, then, I shall become a famous commercial star, playing an influential character and selling alcohols. And the best part is: I may not need a PhD to become a celebrity and make a lot of money. Hahahaha…

ありがとう ………

孤家寡人

親愛なる君へ :

這個星期六，Nathan 就要飛回台灣，結束他為期兩年的留學生涯！對他而言，他即將展開另一段人生旅程，印第安那的回憶，也許慢慢塵封在日後的忙碌或煩惱！而我，短期內少掉一個可以說說話、喝喝酒的同學，卻也還得默默地走完我剩下的留學生涯！我要是說這是『孤家寡人』，也許聽來誇張，但卻是肺腑之言！留學生心底的寂寞，在這資訊時代...呵呵！竟然不是『鄉愁』兩個字可以形容！！！

爸媽也許會想，在這裡對我最大的挑戰及磨練是學業！但是，其實最讓人難熬的，是在異鄉中...觸不到心底的溫暖！！！

以前，我會很看不起在美國揮金如土、肆意淫亂的留學生！（現在還是很看不起啦！）現在不會這麼鄙視他們了！他們也是人，他們也需要被在乎、溫暖的感覺！所以囉，有本錢的，多多少少會有比較複雜的交際生活！沒本錢的，只能多購購物，花花錢買滿足感！而我勒，沒本錢、也不敢多花錢，因此也只會多爬爬文、多刻幾個字，娛樂自己！！！（我在這麼下去，會不會人格分裂啊！？）

我認識一對戀人，他們雖然結為夫妻，但卻相隔兩地！他們雖然相隔兩地，但卻心心相繫！他們可以一起計畫旅行，身心俱疲時仍然可以分工家事！他們也會吵架，但他們更知道接受差異、互相妥協才是長久之道！

什麼叫做相依相隨？！多少是體會到一點了！

什麼叫做孤家寡人？！我想，在美國可以體會得徹底！

印第安那的陽光

親愛なる君へ :

天空是湛藍色的，
森林是深綠色的，
田野是金黃色的，
草地是翠綠色的，
房子是五顏六色的！

不戴太陽眼鏡，眼睛真的會有點睜不開！這裡，開闊遼放的視野，心會靜下來，腳步卻會停不下來！好似一股回歸大地之母的溫暖，深深吸引我們乾涸的肺腑、寂寞的心靈！！！

難怪這鄉野僻壤不需要華那威秀、新光三越！

加設屋頂的橋是印第安那獨特的一景！每一座橋都有他們的歷史沿革！不過這座例外！它只是公園裡小湖旁的一個小裝飾品！歷史上並不是特別造來方便交通及運輸的。但它還是很別緻可愛！從裡面望出去，就是一片湖光山色的美景！

晚餐過後，在這裡稍稍散步一會兒，很是悠閒恬靜。但老實說，眼底再怎麼映出美麗的景色，我的心仍然是空空蕩蕩的，腳步沈甸甸的，但卻感受不到踏實的感覺！

想起一首詩：
『村舍外，古城旁，杖藜徐步轉斜陽。
殷勤昨夜三更雨，又得浮生一日涼。』

我說忙不忙，說累也不累！暑假到了，再過約半個多月就要參加博士檢定考！我沒有什麼心思唸書，也不會很緊張！看起來好像很閒適的下午生活，其實在我空空的心裡，更加顯的孤獨與悲涼！人生中，原本期待一步步走下去的路程，現在一筆筆地從計畫表中刪掉！！！我不知道該去恨還是放棄，那一種答案對我來說都很痛苦。

若是要我就這麼過下去，那我也只能麻痺自己！但我已經很久沒好好睡上一覺！好想...好想...再一次感受希望及溫暖！

Beautiful Rainy Day in Bloomington

It rained a lot on that day. After taking Yoshiki to Indianapolis airport, Nathan and I decided to go to Bloomington, exploring the so called "roast duck noodle soup." My GPS navigation system did offer a great help while we were on our way from Indy to Bloomington. About an hour or so, we got there.

Well, the "roast duck noodle soup" was not that fascinating and delicious actually. It was just a bowl of soup and noodles with some roast duck and vegetables on the top. The amount of noodles was not enough for a man and the roast duck was a little too salty. Hahahaha…guess what?! It cost me USD $7. Luckily, we did not need to pay tips.

If this store ran it business in Taiwan, it would not last more than 3 months.

Since we were already in Bloomington, it would be a waste if we did not pay a visit to Indiana University. It was my second time visiting IU, and I really love its campus. It is more like a garden to me, not just bunches of classrooms locating here and there. Because of the rain, the air was so refreshing, making trees and flowers more green and red.

Nathan and I also stopped by a souvenir store of IU. Anything has an "Indiana University" logograph on it is worth more USD even if it is made in China. This made me wonder whether we are buying the merchandise or just the name. I guess this is the "usual thing" happening everywhere in the world.

I didn't buy anything in that store. But I asked myself: will I buy some souvenirs of ISU when I am ready to go back Taiwan? What the hell! ...

最貴的玩具

親愛なる君へ :

上禮拜俊元畢業了！我在美國的酒伴又即將少掉一個！
這個陳先生是一個傳奇，他可以一個人開車一路玩到San Antonio (全程超過三千英里)！咱們給他拍拍手！而且，我還得謝謝他，因為他把車賣給我！我少了一個酒伴，卻也多了一個旅行的好幫手！

豐田車系Toyota Camry 200 XLE
搭載 V6 引擎，有著六汽缸的實力！前後防撞鋼樑換新，車體除了一兩處小擦傷，其他無大礙！八年的車，已行近十萬英里！大體來說，是一部保養得當、狀況極佳的好車！

昨天我和由樹一起把她洗了一遍！添一添雨刷精及引擎冷卻劑！（不知道吧，在美國冷卻引擎的不是水！在台灣，水箱裡可以只加水！在美國，要加特定的冷卻劑，否則冬天一結冰，就等著拖去大修吧！）

夕陽下，我的車顯的很有精神！我佇足在旁良久，心想：這是我第一次買這麼貴的「玩具」給自己！從今天起，她叫做 Connie! 她將陪伴我到美國大城小鎮去玩！我在這片遼闊的夢想之地，會有她親切的保護及友情！

命名の確認：Connie

Turkey-Run State Park

I got my car on Friday (May 2, 2008).

Before I give a detailed information about the first car in my life, I want to share with you all about the marvelous day in Turkey-Run State Park.

It was such a sunny day with cool air and a little breeze. I did not feel hot and sweaty at all. Well, as a matter of fact, I am not really a nature-goer. Walking on the grass and leaves makes me feel nervous cause I am always worried about snakes. However, the scenery in the park helped relieve my tension and worry. In my eyes, there were green trees, shiny river, rocky valley, and little waterfall.
Nathan and I spent about thirty walking on Trail #6 and about an hour on Trail #3. …Exhausted, but feeling so relaxed and fascinated by the natural scenes. We hopped on little rocks while crossing various little rivers. We stopped by some rocky caves and valleys, pretending we are ancient monks or "supermen." When we saw the clean cool water in the river, we "almost" took off our shoes and jumped into it.

Summer is coming. I can feel that.

I am gonna spend more time exploring the beauty of Indiana, and other gorgeous places in the US. Life…shall be wasted in beautiful things!!!
Just take a break! Not tired yet, but need a deep breath to say "Thank you" to God: You have done a good job creating the earth.

I guess there is too much iron in the rock or the water, making the color red.

Don't worry about Nathan. He was just too stressed out because he is about to leave Indiana and go back Taiwan. Hahahahaha…!!!

I was a little tired actually. Jumping up and down really makes my legs tired.

What about taking a shower under that waterfall, pal??? It must be "cool."
I hope you become a monk here and I may come every once in a while to worship you. Hahahahaha...
Yeah, right! So now you decide to become a superman…what's next, pal!???

Isn't this gorgeous? I wanna go canoeing here next time.

Well, actually, it's forbidden to swim here! Are there any crocodiles there in the river?
Wow…I need to drink a second cup of coffee! What a day!!!!!!!! (Don't you have a fat-belly problem, buddy?)

次等拜金女

好幾年前，松島菜菜子主演一部「大和拜金女」，似乎又再度開啟現代女性嫁入豪門的夢想！
那些所謂超級有錢的小開，我是沒見過啦！但是在這留學異鄉的時光裡，我倒是見識到不少『土財子』以及『次等拜金女』！

解釋名詞：次等拜金女 ，指那些格調不高，所學不多，嬌生慣養，見識短淺而又胸無點墨，且還一心想嫁金龜婿的女人！

土財子們其實稍有格調的大有人在，所以身旁難免有一些小花野豔，因此也會常常被誤以為是有錢風流的紈褲子弟！說穿了，他們也還年輕，碰上投懷送抱的『假花』，往往也就禁不起誘惑！但是這些少爺可不是笨蛋，他們心裡雪亮，他們算盤打的更精：娶妻當求淑女！貞操把持不住的女人，口袋的錢也很有可能不會看的很緊！

冷眼旁觀，這些年，我也長了不少見識！
一、不要以為會上上床，完事後滴幾滴眼淚就能抓住男人的心，讓男人以為妳是世紀末的最後一個清純乖乖女！男人心中，新婚夜的處女，才是上上之選！我同意現代女性說的：追求處女的男人是沒自信的！但我更相信：「閱歷」豐富的女人，更沒有料！身體是最不用努力、不用本錢的武器！
二、廣大師說的好：當男人不用下半身思考妳的時候，妳就該懂得要儀態萬千、端莊淑徳、才華洋溢，且學富五車！（有點誇張啦！）那什麼時候男人不用下半身思考你勒！？...要談論婚嫁時或是完事後！嘿嘿！很多『假花』都搞不清楚這一點，老是在被甩後抬出一大篇「悲情花」的戲碼，有時還來個絕食昏倒！妳等著吧，甩妳的男人可能會心痛一下子，但他們很快會醒過神來，口袋裡的美金絕不可以因為一時心軟而白白灑入大西洋！
三、那這些『次等拜金女』到底失敗在哪裡勒？絕大部分原因都是以為上過床就是老娘最大，這個昨晚扒光我衣服的小子欠我的！然後就奉行所謂的美式女性主義教條，開始對他管東管西、頤指氣使！甚至三不五時來個『傷心血拼』，把帳全算在他身上！呵呵！這種事情一次可以，兩次不嫌多，多次後妳就準備被甩吧！
四、要想嫁小開，最起碼妳得具備一些人家沒有的美德吧！就算不用妳家世顯赫啦，妳也該有點料吧！首先就是學歷，能在國外唸書的人，一般來說都能達到這點！但是學歷也包含才華及能力啊！只是會知道當季打折名牌包包和洋裝，懂得把臉塗得像花旦，那是遠遠不夠的！廣大師說過：再美的女人，看十年也會厭;再醜的女人，看三個月後也能習慣！廣東人說：下得了廚房，出得了聽堂！留學生中會煮飯的女人真是用手指數得出來，難得煮鍋罐頭湯，也能說成世紀大作戰！再說吧，說到才華，就連應英系畢業的，來到美國都還要念語言學校才能進入碩士課程，這種女人你還要期待她有什麼才華！難道念大學時，她每天還堅持彈六小時的鋼琴嗎？所以囉，只想靠張臉、撒撒嬌，就想後半輩子當少奶奶享清福，妳再去修練一百年吧！不要當男人們都是笨蛋！

窮人富人、男人女人，大家都是人！我不欣賞口袋有點家產就肆意揮霍、人格低俗的公子哥兒！但我也同樣看不起沒幾兩重，卻一心想攀高枝的鴨雀！琴棋書畫不著道，最基本也得做到持家理財、噓寒問暖，及克盡孝道吧！花兒們，妳們想挑昂貴的古瓷花瓶棲身，先照照鏡子吧：妳配的上嗎？

好天氣 ; 壞心情

親愛なる君へ :

我期待已久的春天終於來了！妳是否也和我一樣看到油綠綠亮眼的草皮！？走在這樣的校園中，一點也不覺得累！陣陣清風徐來，只覺週遭旺盛的生命力源源地停佇在鼻息邊，輕輕觸動肌膚，喚醒體內每一個細胞！

我和由樹邊走邊談著當天健身房的課程表以及等一下要上的統計課。其實他心裡老是想著那台凌志 IS 300，和整個夏天的高爾夫計畫！...（什麼時候要堅持？什麼時候要妥協？這實在是一門艱難的功課！）

今年秋季，由樹得到日文的教學工作，9 個學分費完全可以抵掉，等於省下五千多美金，相當於台幣約十六萬！比較之下，中文教學就沒有那麼吃香了！！！在我們學校教中文課，整整一學期也才拿系上五百多美金！呵呵呵呵，很不公平吧！但是其實話說回來啦，只要學生不多，老師可以拿的錢就會少！這是很現實、也很殘酷的供需法則！
我已經拒絕系上電腦教室的工作，因為他們對我的付出根本不會當一回事！

我算是學乖了！在美國，要做事，就要做得自己喜歡，心甘情願！台灣人那一套『辛苦就會有代價』的精神，在這裡美國人會解讀成是我們自己喜歡高興做的，然後漸漸當你是理所當然爾...！！！我不是說我的努力非得你給我加薪，給我表揚！去！我來美國就為了賺他們這種一小時六元的薪水嗎？！！！ 我不在乎多做一點，但我會很在意美國人覺得花一點錢就可以買到我的付出及專業！

說句不好聽的：要我回去為你們這些膿包做事，那你們得先培養認真專業的態度！微軟是源自你們美國啦，怎麼你們需要一個台灣人來教你們怎麼用啊？！

就連一張CD有多大容量都不知道，那你們還混個鳥啊！？回去啃漢堡看你們的足球賽吧！你們這些腦滿腸肥的笨蛋！

我道歉！我的言論的確有點過激！ ...（反省中）

Oral-B Triumph Professional Dental-Care

To be honest, I was not a big fan of power toothbrush before. I am the guy who always believe in hand-power. Well, admit it! Things with a "hand-made" title usually cost more than other stuff from industrial lines.

However, I surrendered to modern technology this time, especially after spending USD $126 just to temporarily stop the toothache. Bruce Anshutz, my doctor, told me to take good care of that cavity. If I am lucky, I may be able to "survive" till I go back to Taiwan and fix the tooth. Right now, he just helped me to segregate the nerve and outer influence "temporarily." Eventually, I will need to have a root canal treatment in Taiwan, which is going to cost me less money than here in the US.

So, here we go. I got a power toothbrush, which by the way, was suggested by Bruce and Nathan. This fancy little thing cost me USD$88.21, including shipping. Compared with the price I can get in Taiwan, I really got a pretty good deal.

I have used it for several days this week. In the beginning, it has kind of funny touch on my teeth and gums. But very soon, I get used to its vibration and start to enjoy the brushing process.

I guess this is a good investment. Hope I won’t be getting another toothache again.

戊子年四月 春

親愛なる君へ :

持續了下好幾場雪後，低溫爆冷的天氣終於漸形漸遠！草皮上的新芽一大片一大片地竄出來，和月前雪堆裡枯萎發黃『菜乾』相比，真是令人感嘆造物者之功、自然界的生生不息！

天氣一暖起來，人心就蠢蠢欲動了！活力就來了！

那天看到一群學生在遊行，標榜『不要種族歧視，接受多元種族並存』！挺有衝勁的！校警車在旁緊緊地跟著，生怕鬧出意外事件！不用說，示威學生多半是黑人和南美洲人！
說實話，我支持多元種族並存！也確切感受過美國白人的歧視心態！他們這種自大且井蛙之見的心理，大部分來自封閉的「大美國」意識型態！眼界走不出去，自然會覺得世界就應該是繞著美國轉！這當然很迂腐、很可悲、也很可笑！但是不可否認，美國的強大，支配著很多看不到的不公平！
話又再說回來，小黑和小拉丁們自己也要爭氣！我沒有種族上的偏見！但是在美國，黑人們真的該自己好好檢討！就拿學校的電腦室來說，永遠是小黑們最吵，永遠是他們堆在一起看球賽、講手機！常常可以聽到黑人女生笑的很大聲！要是你跟他們好言相勸，有時還會被白眼！而且那種「白」是真的很白，因為他們膚色的關係！哈哈哈！
如果再蠻橫一點，他們就會擺出一付被歧視的樣子，跟你沒完沒了！見識過黑人女生吵架嘛！包你一句話都說不出來！…

真的，我真的沒有歧視他們！但在美國待了近三年，就連一個讓我覺得跟他相處起來舒服的黑人都沒有！那更別談成為朋友了！