智慧讓愛常駐

親愛なる君へ:

為什麼你/妳不懂我要的是什麼?

為什麼我在你/妳身上感受不到相對等的愛?

我為你/妳付出那麼多，你/妳都感受不到嗎?

不求任何回報的愛情很令人欽佩，也很嚮往 (事實上，不可能!要真是不求回報，那還真是什麼問題都不會有了!)

但是這樣的感情真的存在嗎? 就算真的有，付出與收受這樣深刻的感情，所要承受的代價又是什麼? 真的發生時，不會覺得沉重嗎? 或者，當我們用自以為為對方好、愛對方的方式去付出時，真的是對方所要的嗎? 倘若不是對方所能承受的愛情，一但得不到相對等的付出，是不是就可以責怪對方愛得不夠呢?

所以要真是愛一個人，是不是應該用對方喜歡的方式去愛呢?

長久的感情需要細膩地去經營，往往有智慧的相處模式都有其特質：「熱情、尊敬、開闊心」。兩人在一起一定要有熱情，衝勁及荷爾蒙的化學變化，會臉紅心跳，會活力十足，為生活不時地添加感情催化劑! 可熱情也不能太多，天天都有驚喜，那就不算是驚喜了!

然後是尊敬! 世上很難有完美的一對璧人，就是現在感覺契和度百分百，人也會隨著境遇、歷練、及成長經驗而改變! 尊重彼此雙方面的差異才是學習真愛的道路!

最後是開闊的心! 人都會犯錯，更何況是這麼熟悉的枕邊人! 愛-有很多時候會讓我們忘記如何去原諒，而放不下的後果，甚至會讓自己想不起當初是如何愛上對方的。人生太短暫，與其浪費時間冷戰、吵架，那還不如先說聲抱歉，冷靜地溝通，然後更知性與感性地去享受兩人的相互陪伴與愛情!
(想想，如你的人生縮短為三天的假期，你要不要用一天的時間去和對方吵架?) 原來用腦子去想事情, 遠不如用心去想事情來得深! 原來深刻而長久的感情, 是略苦而回甘的清茶: 淡如水卻又餘味繞喉! 早上窗台前的鴿子把我叫醒，看他在寒風中抖動羽翅，咕咕地叫著：好像在告訴我，別浪費時間了!今朝了悟，你的人生將自此而明朗!!!

Empty Myself

I once felt I deserved every ounce of glory, love, and rewards since I worked so freaking hard. I fought against all the difficulties and torture like a dirty dog in the streets. What I learned to survive and what I earned from each drop of sweat constructed who I am today and what I will be tomorrow. I was proud of my success. I did not let myself tolerate those who are rich and indolent, OR those who have everything without making much efforts. And therefore, yes, I was impatient, proud, narrow-minded, and self-contained.

Well, I am not saying I already change all those bad characteristics and become a brand new FRANK. But I definitely can say…knowing myself is the first step and lots of improvement has been made.

So…I should empty myself…like an empty bottle…ready to fill with anything…so that I will grow, learn, and be strong.

PS: There will be still something in which I persist as for myself. I may like to call them self-disciplines or principles. But as for interpersonal relationship, I will offer more compromises than I used to do. This is because I learn to respect the differences among people.

By the way, here is my favorite baseball player, Ichiro Suzuki. I like him because he said: “It’s my job to fight against the pressure once I step into the stadium,” and “as a baseball player, the game and the stadium are primary things that I should pay all my attention.” So…for those Taiwanese baseball players and coaches, stop talking and go practicing, practicing, and practicing. ……And, yes, I mean what I just said and I insist on it.

反省

親愛なる君へ :

和平主義大爛人: 我一直以為自己是個好好先生! 反正還有什麼事是好計較的，深呼吸，算了啦，不是他們的錯!
真相: 表面上息事寧人，一切都可以原諒、好好談談就好了嘛! 但骨子裡，我在生氣，大大地不爽! 我好像會一直催眠自己，壓抑住真實的心情 : 別介意，他們以後會改的! 唉，生什麼氣，難道和他們一般見識嗎? 待有一天怒火滿溢，便很難有平反的餘地，火燒傷了他人，也吞噬了感情!

迂腐、怕違背傳統 : 我心中有份正義感，讓我忌惡如仇!但今日才發現，所謂的【正義】，有時不過是假道學 : 光明正大的旗幟，也可能因時間、空間的不同而轉身成為邪惡的化身!
我不能再讓這種虛偽的口號綁住我的手腳!

無神論 : 祂們無權判斷我是善還是惡! 我知道自己是個有善心的人，而這也就夠了! 有沒有天堂或是地獄，誰也說不清楚! 再說了，是上帝也好、菩薩也罷，祂們根本感受不到人內心的痛苦!

SNOW in the Lifetime

It has been snowing since Monday night (January 26)……2 days and none stop. I have never had such big snow in Terre Haute. This is my first time! Well, it’s beautiful, looking like a white wonderland.

Monday night (Jan. 26): It started to snow after 7:00 pm. Everything -including roads, sidewalks, and roofs - was soon covered with snow. I was in my apartment, enjoying this marvelous moments: thank God! I don’t need to drive or go out during snowing.

The other day (Jan. 27): After the workout in the Leclub, I stopped by my car to see if I need to clean out the snow on my car. Well, the situation was somehow tolerable at that time while things became dramatically “funny” on Wednesday (Jan. 28).

On my way to the language lab around 11:00 am, I found the snow has been “piled up” so high that I should really need a pair of very tall snow boots. Thanks to “somebody,” walking on the sidewalk was very rather comfortable and pleasant. However, while I intended to get into the ISU parking lot, I “physically” buried my boots and part of my Jeans in the snow.

When I finally made it to my car, Connie looked like a Boston Lemon pie with Vanilla sugar powder on the top. And, by the way, the snow surrounding Connie might account for some waitress’ generosity – OR was the vanilla sugar on the house that day? Hahahahahaha…

Anyway, I spent 30 minutes shoveling the snow around Connie before I almost got late to work in the lab. As I left, I found that I will never move the car out of the parking lot even if I shovel all the snow around Connie. The driveway in the parking lot was still filled with snow that normal sedans can hardly go in such a condition.

Well, what the heck! ……I can still use my legs!!!

猜猜我是誰

親愛なる君へ :

剛下雪時的街道是最美的，一片白、一片矇矇雪片紛飛，將擾人心神的五顏六色都給蓋住了，淨化了! 我是個躲在家裡的小頑童，藏身百葉窗後，撇見雪中過往的人們!

那人很奇怪，明明就很冷，偏偏他就是不想穿衣服!零下八度，氣象台說感覺起來像是零下十幾度。他老兄就搭著一件薄襯衫，小碎步地走過街道，整顆腦袋一個勁地往下縮。若是脖子可以拿掉，我想他立刻會把它拿下來塞在口袋裡!

看他的樣子，我想不超過25歲!但也許是我眼拙，畢竟我看洋鬼子，和洋鬼子看我是差不多的：他們長得都一個兒樣!!! 他停了下來，四處望了幾眼，呼了一口氣，又繼續往前走! 我好像在那部電影裡看過這動作?!?喔，對了! 戲裡賊搶銀行前就是這德相! 嘿嘿，感情我家樓下要發生搶案啦?!?可我家樓下沒有銀行啊，除了兩家快倒不倒的餐館和一直都好像很有生意的建築公司!

他走進其中一家餐館，而我開始讀秒!一則，我想知道他搶完錢後花多久時間可以逃走；二來，我也想看看警察會花多久時間到達第一現場! 時間一分一秒地過去了，我很驚訝地發現這傢伙竟然在裡面呆了5分多鐘，而警察卻連個鬼影都沒見到!(我把手機放在手邊，這樣我可以隨時撥911) 時間逼近6分半，匪徒終於現身! 靠，這小子也太蠢啦，居然搶了錢又拿一大袋食物!他不會是一面搶錢一面叫店員現做牛肉捲吧!?! 疑….他手裡還有店家的招牌，頭上也多帶了印有店家商標的鴨舌帽!

哦….. 這個少年ㄟ是新來的外送夥計啦! ㄘㄟ…………………………………………

Life-risking Walk

Have you ever wished that you were as light as a new-born baby?

Nope!
But would you think of that while you are walking on the ice?

Growing up in a tropical country, I have never had experience: walking on the ice (on the icy surface of a lake). This afternoon, I was actually doing it in Minnehaha Fish & Wildlife Area, Indiana.

Yoshiki and I was intentionally going fishing this afternoon since the temperature reached 6℃. We thought it might be warm enough for bass to start feeding. Well, soon after we got there, we found the surface of the lake was still frozen. Furthermore, as Yoshiki and I stepped on the ice, we found the ice was thick enough for us to stand on it.

Wooooooooow…what about ice fishing?! It would be a lot of fun.
So we started to dig a hold in the ice till a guy came and told us how freaking dangerous it could be.

"I wouldn't do it if I were you. It's pretty deep out there and anything could happen."
(I was actually thinking about Dr. Barratt's optimism at that time: How bad can it be!? Relaxed…nothing will go worst.)

Anyway, we took the advice and left before we might get ourselves killed. Hahahahahaha…what would be the headline on tomorrow's paper if we got killed there?
" Two Asians got killed by digging holes on the ice" --- Suicidal possibility has been ruled out since their smile was frozen as the police got the bodies.

It was an unique experience for me. ^_^

好冷、好他媽地冷！

親愛なる君へ :

我想這種情形妳一定不陌生，整輛車被雪覆蓋！而且還是那種黏黏的雪，就是會黏在你的衣服上，拍不太下來，一進到屋子裡就會馬上化成水那種！

明天聽說會降到攝氏零下20度！下午我去把車子上的雪掃一掃，以免明天變成冰塊，整個卡在我的愛車上！這個時刻，沒有看或是玩雪的心情！甚至會想，要有一個自己的室內車庫該多好！嘿嘿！沒錯！沒玩過雪的，你們會覺得很好玩，很浪漫。但是在這種溫度下，五分鐘後你會開始覺得暴露在寒風中的臉開始刺痛，鼻水開始止不住地往外流！如果你不把它擦掉，也許再過幾分鐘會開始在你的鼻頭凝固！

還好我穿了兩條褲子才出門，不然真是天殺地冷到爆！

拍掉車上的雪後，我還得看看輪胎旁的積雪會不會很深！呵呵，相信我，還記得2007年的冬天，那台停在家樓下的車三天都沒開動。積雪覆蓋輪胎一半以上，上面的雪剷掉，下面卻已經結成冰塊！我還得跟房東借圓鍬挖了兩個小時才把車子給開出來！還是路經旁邊的UPS車的員工借我們一些沙子小石塊才把車子開出冰塊堆裡！

回到房裡往外看，我肩上的雪已經融解，帽子和外套都有點濕濕的！

我很想和妳在雪地裡走走！我會買杯香草巧克力給妳、我們可能會聊很久！

聊久了，路就走遠了！

First Snow this Winter 2008

I still remember how excited I was when I first saw/touched snow in 2005. This Thursday, the first snow came at around 8:00 pm with strong wind…like a snow storm! Well, I was lucky that I was in my apartment at that time, not around some lakes or fishing ponds. Hahahahahahaha…! As a matter of fact, I did think about going fishing in that afternoon.

To be honest, I was not as excited as I used to be! Instead, I was even worried about my car at that time. Poor Connie…sorry to make you stay outside in the snowing day!

Beneath the light pole, the Christmas decoration has already been hung, telling people: holiday season is coming. Get ready to feed, store some more fat, and go spend all your money in the mall. Well, too bad! I do not have any plans for shopping this winter, even during Thanksgiving sales.
Looking out from my window, I saw cars and roads are covered with some snow. I guess it's going to be very cold this winter. Hope there will be still some warm days so that I can go out for fishing sometimes. Hahahaha…!

Well, Well, Well! Dreams come true! This Sunday happened to be a little warm. Yoshiki and I decided to go fishing in the afternoon. Yoshiki got two bass and I got a fat bass around 35 centimeters. And by the way, we seemed to come to a conclusion: the person who drives on the fishing day always catches less fish.

What the heck!

常相思、催心肝

親愛なる君へ :

不知道黑寶還記得我嗎？
在他眼裡，是否還在等待看到我出現在巷口？
他是否，還雀躍地要我帶他去散步？

黑寶是我一手照顧到大的 : 第一次驅蟲、第一次打預防針、第一次撞倒腳縫了18針、第一次學會坐下、第一次學會「握手」...！黑寶是一隻很接近純種的台灣土狗：他的鐮刀尾及舌斑清楚地揭露他高貴的種性！台灣土狗只認定一個唯一主人 ;

我仍然記得赴美之前把他送到苗栗鄉下的那一刻，他也許還是不解，為什麼我坐在開走的車子裡，很久...很久...很久...都不回來！！！

還記得有一次把他放出去玩，他玩瘋了，我也不管，索性我就騎車去飆給他追！想不到他一路狂跑，一路跟我到健康路尾。等到回到家，卻看到他腳上的肉墊，已經磨掉一大塊，還懸在那裡！我那時就很感動，不是台灣土狗，絕不可能有這種體力、爆發力、以及忠心！

老實說，看到他現在在這麼寬廣的生活環境下生活，我很為他高興！但一想起他已經被去勢，心裡免不了一陣不捨！若是我不用赴美，可以好好照顧他，我一定讓他擁有下一代，承繼他優良的血統！

最近在釣魚時，我老是想起黑寶。我想，若是黑寶可以跟我去釣魚，他一定會很開心，我也會很開心！

閉門造車的時間到了？!

親愛なる君へ :

我已經不將思念放在心底，觸不到指尖那端，感動只能將傷口割得越深！深秋，風越吹越涼，我也只能越縮越小，包覆已撕裂的心！

下禮拜要交的課程設計，我花了五個小時設計了這個封面！私下覺得，很有日本的感覺！若是把標題拿掉，妳會覺得是賣魚、還是賣魚餌？呵呵！照片拍攝時間為10月21日；我用近物對焦拍出來的特寫：德克薩斯釣組上鉤的鱸魚、配上色彩斑斕的湖面背景！然後再以微風修飾（注意看，釣餌的尾巴有風吹的線條處理）、加上黑色鏡頭捕捉！

天氣越來越冷，我『呆』在湖邊的時間越來越少，照片裡的陽光也越來越難看到！前幾天去，岸邊已經很少綠色的葉子！幾場驟雨和風，湖面滿是落葉和枯木；鏡面般如畫的靜逸，不復得見！

我很想找到一處可以靜靜坐著，沒有冷風吹得到的地方下竿，然後在靜靜地等、發呆也好、思考也好！但是實在很難，到處都是冷的讓我無法容身！--我只好猜想，這種天氣我都不願出門，魚更不會出來覓食了！回公寓喝咖啡寫功課吧！

要是我會畫漫畫，我會畫一隻正在湖底打盹的鱸魚：它也許還一面嘲笑我 --「這麼冷還出來釣魚，你頭殼壞去喔！」..........笑